23 February 2014

staying creative Readers Question : How do you get brave enough to share such personal things?


1.How do you get brave enough to share such personal thing? 
2. How do I get brave enough to share my story?

I recently discussed over sharing with Gem Cairney at a recent Fox problem event, and I have been thinking about this topic in blogging and online presence a IG follower (vantagejewellery) posed the question to me. For me sharing my personal thoughts, fear and inspiration is a major part of who I am,  for me my blog is a little bit like an extension of my personal diary, minus all the truly personal relationship stuff. I decide a long time ago to embrace the personality that I have and let this flow through my blog,  mine (personality)  is a weird mix of shyness and forward to the point of cringe!

If unlike me you find it hard or virtually impossible to be so open online, i have a few ideas and strategies that might help, they might not, but I will try my best to help you over the shyness...

One of the things I do is I don't think to much about what I write, I go with a feeling, and run with it. It helps I guess with my dyslexia I write as if I am speaking, (its a burden I bare!) create a blog post about how you are feeling. Write it and you don't have to post it, save it as a draft. Get it out there and see. 

Don't be afraid, it is easier said then done, but since I put myself and my writing out there a lot of people seek comfort in my words, find something that inspires them. You never know, what may come from you finding courage in your own words. I took the plunge recently and blogged about my own depression, it was hard and I thought that I shared way to much information, but once it was out of my head and in black and white I sort of detached myself from it, but at the same time it was a part of me, that needed to be open and talked about. I didn't expect the response I got, I do forget thousands of people read this space everyday. I think that's the way I like to blog, when I put a blog post together I think mainly of myself and what I need to get out of my head and hopefully inspire others. Don't get me wrong not everything I write about is inspirational. (outfit photos aren't the most in depth and thought about thing in my world but they make me happy!)

A lot of people start off with the idea no one, wants to hear what they have to say, they are unimportant  this is so untrue, it's you are the only one putting that thought in your head. You are putting up walls that don't need to be there. Don't worry I am not telling you to drop all walls and post naked pictures of yourself online and talk about your conquests. Please have boundaries, Boundaries are just as important as being brave. Have a mystery about you don't share everything, enough to make your readers feel comfortable, as if they know you, because being related to is a good thing to be. I think being open is great if you are a lifestyle blogger like me, it may not work if you are running a business, something personal are not needed. I was first and foremost a blogger and then a business woman a lot of people buy my work and are interested because they feel like they know me as a person or find what I do inspiring it works well for me, mix things up and see what you feel comfortable with.

If you are afraid people will take the piss, first up Don't be! second up, they will anyway people can just be mean, you don't have to hide away your thoughts, passions and your story because a handful of anons like to troll the internet, Its not nice I know I have been on the receiving end of a lot of anon rubbish, but it shouldn't stop you from finding your voice. If you have something truly worthwhile to say it will shine above the nasty people so go for it!

My mentality can be kinda fuck it! I wanna blog, I am going to go for it, if it doesn't offend, if it is fairly well written, maybe thought provoking, helpful in someway, I don't plan I just type and let it all come out as if I was talking away. Anyone who personally knows me, knows that this is how I think, feel and basically communicate...So I am going to be like this on my blog, its the only way I know how, in some ways I have been blessed in others I am totally rubbish at stringing probably well written sentences together (anyone reading this can tell I'm dyslexic ) but I don't let it stop me...Just blog!

Like many other people, you have had to go through things, sometimes really crap things, hard things and hopefully lots of fun things! So you holding onto all the information that you have experienced could enrich or fill others with hope... so I suggest you make notes lots of notes, bullet points, happy thought webs, about yourself, things you want to write about, things you want to share, even if you think it is something super silly another person may find its the answer they have been looking for.

So basically this is all working up to the fact that you need to take the plunge! You won't know how people will react until you take that first scary step. It might enrich your life knowing others find comfort in your thoughts and words. 

 brief outline of how I became brave at sharing... *

- practice makes perfect 
- write all your thoughts down
- be brave
- Don't be afraid
- Don't over think it, let your mind wander and write how you feel
- Have boundaries.
- What experiences have you faced?
- Do what you feel comfortable with, but remember pushing your boundaries can lead to great things.
- Think before you type.
- Don't over share about others (bitching is no fun)

*This is how I blog, there is no right or wrong to blogging find your own way, with a little help from bloggers who have gone before you!
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6 comments

  1. I recently talked about my experience with an abusive relationship and hitting "publish" terrified me. It took me a long time to finally feel confident enough to share it and the response I got was beyond unexpected. I think sharing incredibly personal aspects of your life with strangers is scary just because we don't know how it will be received but like you said, we won't know how people will react unless we take the first step.
    I love the points you shared about how you became brave with sharing. I'll need to keep a note of them and refer back to them whenever I lose my metaphorical balls.

    Raise The Waves

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  2. Your personality sounds very similar to mine, I can be so shy and so bold at the same time. It can be so hard to share personal things but people really surprise you a lot of the time with how supportive they are and it's wonderful.

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  3. I loved this post, Ella. It can be very inspiring to bare our sould from thime to time and I got inspired by your words. :)

    www.joanofjuly.com

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  4. you are a true source of inspiration, I love how you think about sharing your experiences and trying to keep others hope in themselves. Great! ♥

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  5. I agree, it can be hard to make that final 'publish' click on a particularly personal post. I've just been through IVF treatment and I found it really difficult last year to admit publicly that as a couple, we were infertile. I used National Infertility Awareness Week last October to write a post about it and everyone was incredibly supportive. Since then I've mentioned a bit on my blog about the drugs and treatment and everyone had been absolutely lovely. :-) x

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  6. Such an interesting post. I often wonder whether I should keep my blog purely art or whether I share to much - you see discussions between other bloggers about not liking that sort of thing... When it comes down to it, they are OUR blogs and people don't have to read. I do share quite a lot personally - I take part in a weekly 'positive' look back on the week which, for someone prone to bouts of darkness has retrained the way I think massively. So now, I couldn't stop sharing - I think it would be bad for my health ;) But so many people have told me those posts are their favourites.

    Loved reading through your blog today and have pinned your watercolour tutorial in the post above. Just discovered you via the Cowling & Willcox FB page :)

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Ella
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