30 October 2014

the perfect online persona and feelings of inferiority and How to tackle it!

I have been thinking about writing a blog posted based on the idea of online persona and inferiority for quite a while. It wasn't till yesterday when i was having a rather low moment that I stuck some TED talks on, whilst i worked away. That it made me realize that a time before I joined the internet (social media) I never really judged myself, my work and my life so harshly as I do now. 
It made me wonder, what has bought this about. I'm going to be totally honest and share some thoughts.

Facebook to me is the bane of my life, I've been single for like four years and not a day goes by were some old acquaintances is getting engaged, or someone has found the love of their life or an old school friend has given birth to the cutest baby. Don't get me wrong I'm over the moon for them, positive love stories are great but Yes it makes me question why the heck am I still single, is there something mildly wrong with me? or that embarrassing moment an old school mate adds me and asked me why I don't own my own house yet or wheres my boyfriend. Yes it does make me feel inferior at times. But on the flip side of this I don't let it bother me too much as I know relationships aren't the be all and end all, they take work, and boys are annoying a lot of the time haha! Nothing like a general sweep assumption! But is this healthy? How did people function before? I guess they took snap shots in photo albums around to friends houses and slides of their awesome holiday that no one truly cares about.

Now I am one to tell people that my life isn't always paint brushes and idyllic jaunts through London, far from it and what you don't see is the lonely nights working, sacrificed fun times with friends and family, injuries sustained from endless hours drawing. So then why when I look at someone elses blog or Instagram, I'm like "God damn it! shes got perfect hair!" " why isn't my room that beautiful." "She's amazing at drawing." Yes that's my dialogue in my head sad but true, don't get me wrong its also filled with "so proud of them" and "wow i feel inspired" but  I think we are all occasionally prone to bouts of jealously or the feeling that we are lesser bloggers, less pretty or less popular and that's OK, I think its healthy occasionally as it gives me a kick up the bum to create better work, go out more and realize that I too have beloved, loyal and friendly readers who care about what I create and make me realize that I have a some what small influence on lives and (I hope positive) thoughts.

I have a funny little story to tell you, I recently went on a date with a guy who had 20k followers on Instagram, now that's great and I was super pleased for him but too my face he bragged to the point i wanted to walk right out of that restaurant and tell him to shut up we get it, people like your photos stop making my few thousand followers seem insignificant and inferior to your millions! It made me angry and upset, I'm never one to brag, this was like a real life haha look at you being all unpopular you looser, he was boring and made me feel like all my hard work was pointless. Until I realized one thing his achievement was no reflection on mine we are all different some people are show offs and some aren't (remember just because you don't shout about your achievement doesn't make them any less amazing) and that's OK, just don't force it down someones throat while they are eating pizza thanks!

I'm someone who has in the last 6/7 years struggled with my weight, even though I have shed a few stone. I still look in the mirror occasionally and be like, damn look at those hips, I should cut down on cake, but god damn it I love a good cake! I'll exercise more, negative thought turned into a positive action. Don't get me wrong I shouldn't in the first place look in the mirror and curse my womanly curves but that's my thing, everyone does it, its just learning to do it less.  

If you are feeling a little down, comparing yourself to those amazing bloggers, youtubers and instagramer ( not to mention those friends on Facebook who've just got engaged and live the perfect life) I suggest stepping away from the sometimes false truths that are shared on the internet, this tiny virtual bubble, where no one has spots, bad hair days or fashion faux-pas, umm hello filters you're God send but a bastard. 

Go live for a little while without getting daily updates interactive with people and see the world in a more positive light rather then what others have, take a moment to be grateful for what you have.

Important to remember that that person you admire has worked their butt off to get where they are, probably having to sacrifice a lot. So don't be jealous be proud to be able to share a little bit of their world and hopefully that has a positive influence on you making you realize a world like that is achievable for you to also reach your dreams. Social media is a great place for being discovered and meeting amazing like minded people rather then being jealous of them, embrace their awesomeness with compliments and kindness it will get you far!

Here are just some ideas I thought could breed a more positive outlook about you :

Keep a compliments/achievement jar - are you particularly proud of an achievement? write it down be it small or somewhat insignificant or if someone gave you a nice compliment put all these hand written thoughts in your jar and when you are having a down day or moment bust them out! I promise you they will cheer you up!

Wear a favorite item of clothing -  For me its a recent purchase of striped high waisted trousers that make me feel a million dollars or make me look like a pirate but pirates are cool so its fine! if its nice underwear put something on that makes you happy not others. 

Keep a portfolio of work - I put together ( similar to the compliments jar) a book of all my favorite achievements specifically since graduating to make me realize how far I've come in the last four years near my desk as constant reference to push myself. If you want to create one about your blog, or your job you can create a scrapbook style portfolio.

Five steps to get away from it all:

- Switch your phone off, if not off aeroplane mode is the best (its my baby)

- Do something you love, for you not to instgram for your followers, they can cope without a photo of your lunch for one day I'm sure.

- Read a good book use those hands for turning pages not for scrolling through internet feeds.

- Write, solitude is good for ideas and creativity this TED talk is fab for introvert thinking

- Walk, I find its the best for clearing out cobwebs and allowing yourself a break from the constant social media updates, twitter meh! and perfect facebook lives.

Steps to realizing you're just as awesome :

Negative thought - fml why does no one want me why am I so single. Positive thought - its just not happened yet, don't rush to settle for someone just because you don't like being alone. Independent woman and all that!
Negative thought - I look crap in that top she looks so much slimmer then me. Positive thought/action - Pick something you like about what you see in the mirror rather then being constantly negative about what you see. Everyone has their own insecurities.   

Negative thought - they've got more followers then me, i'll never be as popular. Positive thought/action  - Rather then sitting there counting followers go out and enjoy something and have a life so you can share something with those followers you do have. 

Negative thought  - I can't draw, Positive action -put the pen down, go read a book think of something else come back to it, keep going. Everyone has moments like that.

Things that you can do to create a more positive outlook online :

- Compliment someones photo, leave positive feedback
-  Leave a comment on a blog post you never know it could create an amazing friendship

- Don't sit wishing you were someone else that's boring and you're just as awesome 

- Share more. 


28 October 2014

read . wear . do

I have recently signed up to The Association of Illustrators and today my membership arrived along with Varoom! Magazine which I got stuck into, its lovely to read up on the latest news and whats going on in the world of illustration, totally geeky I know.

Its not everyday I receive such a thoughtful gifts as this twiggy necklace that I received from my friend Jaymie, Jaymie creates beautiful illustrated necklaces, collar clips, earrings inspired by fashion icons. I think this would work perfectly with my favorite Breton top and high waisted black trousers for that elegant look. Jaymie also runs a blog which is where she shares beautiful photos and illustrations have a little look!

So for my twenty sixth birthday I received a Tattoo machine, so I put it to good use the other day and gave myself a little anchor and a little heart locket, the heart locket was based around my Paris trip with Lyzi we wanted to get matching tattoos all the way back in 2012 and I've only just doodled it on me! Don't worry they're healing well and everything was clean and safe.

So what have you been reading, wearing and doing this week?

26 October 2014

first piece of clothing by ella masters studio

After a long day of doodling, probably feeling longer due too gaining an hour over her in Britain, I made my very first item of fully designed clothing at Ella Masters Studio, its my silk rain drop Cami. The pattern is all made by me and will soon be made to order. You have no idea how proud I was when I slipped it over my head and it fitted. The material was also created by me, it was inspired by my love for bold colour and simple design. Its a simple design but I love a good cami, a silk one can be so elegant.

I will be creating a line of tops, callots, scarfs, purses and clutches all in my specially designed fabric, which I have shared in a recent Sneak Peek blog post. I am currently working on a brand spanking new online shop that will feature my clothing line. It will be called Ella Masters Studio creating beautiful clothing with an illustrated twist!


25 October 2014

early morning light

I don't often get the chance to have a chilled morning but last week when staying at one of my best friends flat me and Kelly took the time to enjoy all the little things that come with taking things slowly. Holly's flat was so light and airy and was the perfect chill out pad as I watched people walking their dogs in Finsbury Park making me endlessly jealous of the location and space.

Now no beautiful morning is complete without the largest mug of tea possible as I watched Kelly create wonders with her amazingly long hair, she always resembles to me some sort of pre-raphelite muse. I sipped my tea and wrote down a few notes that had been troubling me from the night before, its always good to get them out and onto paper.

Its always sets you up for a good day if you've had a chilled morning and I think my outfit reflected this, messy up do and a bag jacket perfect for kicking fallen Autumnal leaves as we walked through Finsbury Park, ready for a day in East London.


2 October 2014

Freelance off with bang!

Gosh where do I even start with today, I am now officially freelance no more standard day job. This is where all the hard work has been building too and you know what I am really rather excited. Thanks to the joys of instgram, you lovelies have managed too fill my calender with new commissioned work, only one day in. I can't believe it, so thank you.

I have some spare slots still available over the next month or so, so if you are interested in getting a portrait or a bearded fellow drawn up by me just drop me a little email at ellas_blog@hotmail.co.uk and I can send across a brochure of prices and time scales.

I have some fun news to share with you all tomorrow but until then thank you for all your love and support for the last seven years its been a joy so looking forward to sharing this new chapter with you all.
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