28 May 2015

How to make it on your own.


So the last few weeks, I have been feeling a little lost I probably should re word that to felt lost after my break up  I kinda stopped working and I just felt all kinds of crap. We've all been there, it's never nice to be treated badly by someone else and have to be left to pick up the pieces, but it's always a bit of a blessing in disguise. I neglected my blog, social media, emails (damn hackers!) and my business because you know what, I felt like I had nothing of value to share I didn't want to be seen, I felt some how like I had failed. (I have had a few nasty tweets from people for not being present on social media but the lovely comments have way out weighed this so thank you) These feelings are probably all pretty natural feelings. It has taken a lot out of me, but I am finally excited to be getting stuck into things again and making exciting plans with some wonderful people and you know what I am a completely different person for it and lets all take a moment to thank my amazing Mother.

Things aren't meant to be easy, so I've  been told I guess if they were we wouldn't appreciate the good times and the nice people we surround ourselves with. Currently right now things are great which is such a contrast to how I felt a mere month ago. I'm happy and genuinely glad it happened.

I read an Article in Oh Comely Magazine Issue twenty four lost and found that summed up a lot of my thoughts, the instant I read it everything was clear and I know longer cared or was upset, strange. Also it was odd that one of my University friends had illustrated the Issue check out Harriet lee-merrion's work It was an article written by e k haralambous - finding words for happiness, here is an extract...

"The hardest thing in this world is to accept loss. It is painful to go along with something you wish wasn't happening. To be grown-up and say "I'll find another house" instead of never letting go and crying. "Ow, there is a hole in my life where my home use to be," to anybody who will listen. You bargain for all things, you would give anything for things to be different. You say. "God, I'll try harder. God, I'll be different." That's understandable, but it's disregarding the only thing that bring closure: agreeing, admitting, acceptance"

Acceptance is about understanding that a house is just bricks and mortar, the same way a heart is muscle and blood. You can't fashion a heart out of cement. You can't put the house within you, deep into your chest, hard as you try. Acceptance is having  the strength to give up bargaining things, especially what you don't have, for what you've lost. While this doesn't make you happy, there is solace in the certainty of such clarity. And solace, as you know, is the close cousin of lady Joy"

Talking of Joy it's nice to find joy in my drawing again and planning lots of fun projects with wonderful people. I also stumbled across a little something on my dining table courtesy of the borther Huck's publication of How to make it on your own, a little Zine of inspiring people out there running their own company doing their own thing pretty inspiring and has given me a few light bulb moments and ways I want to branch out the studio.

So if you are feeling lost, down, broken hearted, try and make positive steps so that everyday is a little bit better then the last. And here is How to make it on your own when you feel down with some simple things to do :

- Learn to be alone
- Don't blame yourself
- Set goals
- Believe and trust your gut
- If someone say your beautiful take the Damn compliment! haha
- Don't dwell on things, probably not going to achieve anything
- Don't take crap
- Its a temporary fix 
- Know your worth
- Always listen to music that makes you feel bad ass.
- Start something new, gym, a new project anything that keeps your mind focused
- If Someone asks you to go out,  be it shopping, a drink, a date do it!
- Get outside
- Appreciate what you have 
- Surround yourself with good people, if there aren't many about find an animal.
- Eat good food. 
 I thought I'd openly share how I felt just in case you are also feeling a little low too.Words can help even in the hardest of times. So go out there and make it happen because at the end of the day no one else is going to pick you up and do it for you.
p.s. Thanks Dolce Gusto for the coffee.
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12 comments

  1. Hey doll :) ~ Oh lovely, I just want to give you the biggest squeeze ever. I know a lot of people say 'I know how you feel', but I really do know how you feel. You're made of strong stuff, you know - so it's good to see you bolstering yourself and getting back to it. Kudos to you for giving yourself a break to re-balance.

    Words DO mean a whole lot - so when _you're_ feeling down or that life is shitty, try to remember that you're *Ella Frickin' Masters*! You are out there and doing what so many of us dream to be able to do. You are a shining beacon of hope and inspiration to so many of us :)

    If you're looking for some good music for your soul - check out Sara Bareilles, if you haven't already. She has literally got me through some of my hardest times - one of those singers that just seems to 'get it', you know?

    I'm going to treat you to some cream tea (or cocktails!) when I get back from my travels in July and we can laugh the worries away!

    Love, hugs and positivity x :)
    Mark | That Gent Mark

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  2. Sending kisses to you my love! I wanted to say it's brave of you to write this but that isn't the right word. It's kind and inspiring of you to share this. When my MacBook died in February I actually went through a similar situation with a guy I'd been dating. There no two ways about it - it's bloody difficult to deal with loss. I felt lost, especially being so far away from home, my family and comforts, but there's an incredible strength that you build and develop from battling through. You didn't lose yourself, just a temporary part of yourself that you can rebuild. And mate, no-one is worth losing yourself for. Gawd this got deep hahahaha. Miss you my gorgeous one xx

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  3. I'm so sorry to hear about your break-up but better things are yet to come! You're such an inspiration and your art is superb, so carry on painting, drawing and creating wonderful pieces to share with the world. It'll all be okay xxx

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  4. Awww my sweet! Breaking up utterly and completely sucks :( Surround yourself with great people and plan great adventures and more importantly learn to be alone and like yourself and be happy in your own skin. Only you can make you happy - it´s a shame but we really can´t rely on anyone else to make us happy! You seem wonderful and super talented so just keep creating and see what like life has next in store for you xxx

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  5. Ella you are such a gem. It must be a tough time but I'm glad to see your happier and willing to be open and share your thoughts and advice - thank you for that! x

    www.ohjanuary.blogspot.co.uk

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  6. Today I discovered your blog for the first time and this is what I was totally NOT expecting. Your honesty is refreshing and kept me reading. Kudos to you! I'll be back for more.

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  7. I'm so sorry to hear that you have been going through a tough time Ella :( Your words definitely touched me though, as I have been struggling a lot lately too (it's pretty much just work related) but I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel now. It sounds like you are dusting yourself off and starting to begin again too <3 We can do this xx

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  8. Giving you such a great big virtual hug right now xo

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  9. I've only just read this post, I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling crap recently. Just remember what a talented and creative person you are :) I'm sure there'll be someone else out there who realizes what a great person you are. I would suggest painting, as that's what I do when I feel down, but that might not work as well for you- seeing as it's your job! I hope it all picks up soon for you and you begin to feel better

    Holly Olivia x

    hollyoliviacreates.blogspot.co.uk

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  10. Ella, I'm so glad you saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Your a strong girl, you got through it although it seems that it was not a very happy time for you a month ago. You know what though, your only human, so don't be hard on yourself. Forget what the negative people say and just listen to the positive. Life throws us challenges, and the biggest lesson I have learnt is to go with your gut instinct, like what you said. You got there in the end, you should be proud of yourself. Continue the good work, you talented lady. Remember, Stay Happy. X

    Rebekah | Oh Nine Ten Studio

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  11. I love this. It's uplifting to think of action one can take to help with the pain of loneliness. I also love that drawing is one thing that helps for you. I am glad I got to stop by your blog!

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  12. Lovely post Ella! So uplifting and makes you really think in the long run. Hope everything continues to get better for you!
    Lauren // OhHay Blogs!
    xxx

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