Growing up she was my constant beacon, the happy place that I would go to in my head when I was sad as a kid. Being offered endless rich teas and Nice biscuits with my tea. A year has passed like it was only yesterday I got the phone call.
Moments you skipped over when you lived them now become things you hold onto dearly, things you never thought would be important you knit all my memories of her into one. She meant that absolute world to me. It's been a year, a full year void of anything to do with her, the hallways I use to run down and play hide and seek exists now in someone else house, pink no longer is pink enough, there are no photos, her jewellery, fur coats and high heels are nowhere to be seen. It's sometimes as if she never existed, I have slowly forgotten the sound of her voice, but smells still trigger her memory, I do think you ever truly disappear.
Coping with loss is a tough one, It effects everyone so differently and this is the first that I have never really opened up about, that's one thing I would always recommend doing if you are a little lost at the moment, talk to someone. Always take time for yourself, it always takes time to adjust. I constantly forget she passed away but I think that's natural when you've had a bit of a shock with no closure. Don't forget that you aren't alone.
So seeing as today is the hardest to think of her, I'm going to spend a little time thinking about the moments we did have together because at the end of the day that's the most important thing that and being grateful for the time we had.