29 July 2015

What do artists do all day : Live in the moment


Some days are long and drawn and out, filled with self doubt, others days I work my bum off on new creations and ideas, days where I am glued to my chair emailing, painting and generally trying to work my magic are the days that go the quickest. With my ripped jeans on and a Breton top I do my best to get lost in other peoples creative commissions be it a header or a family portrait. But the days I truly love are the ones where I feel myself and my work developing. I feel in recent years I have very mixed opinions on my work and journey, I am known for my illustrations amongst a select few readers and Instagram followers and that's great, social media has allowed me to do this full time. But I want to take my work further and develop my style, I am ambitious to an extent but am very aware and judgmental of myself and as they say you can be your own worst critic and this is really hard when its a passion and your life. it's about getting it right not always first time but trying and really pushing what you do without worrying too much about everything.

When it comes to my work, I won't dare put it out in the world until it is perfect, not sure if thats the Virgo in me or just an annoying trait, but you're only as good as your last piece of work, well that's what my sculptor tutor use to say to me at Uni. I guess that's what pushes us as artists and creatives or even entrepreneurs and bloggers we can't rest on our laurels. There is always something going on, someone succeeding, someone doing the hardest to be the best. It's a tough world and sometimes its really bloody hard, the last two weeks it has been super tempting to walk back into a a day job, applying for something because I miss being around people, earning a safe and steady income, I'm at the stage in my life where I am thinking beyond myself and thinking about security and future. Freelance Life isn't the safest of options if like me you get anxious about the littlest thing. But for some reason my stubbornness and determination stopped me from emailing those Cv's at that current moment, I sat back and thought about those four long years teaching after I graduated five years ago, and every moment I taught, every lunch break, free lesson in that job I dreamed of drawing, painting and creating work, the last few months, with the ease of working for myself I had become lazy and unambitious, I hate to say it but I lost my spark. I'm not saying it has fully come back but my drive and push for wanting to create and work has reappeared and couldn't come at a better time. 


Sometimes it just happens for no reason at all, our want to create, share and develop just leaves us with no warning. If this teaches us one thing it is to make the most of the now, right now I have three completed paintings staring at me waiting to be scanned in and shared with the world, I have had some great feedback on my instagram and I've drunk enough tea that my soul is in a good place, whilst I feel less guilty for not venturing to the gym since Saturday, my bills have been paid for the next month so my sole focus for today is painting, developing my style and finding the good in the everyday whilst trying to lower my anxieties. I'm making the most of what I have to work with today.

HOPE YOU'VE HAD A LOVELY DAY
X
ELLA

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13 comments

  1. This. Just...This has been a great help! It's a brilliant and honest post. Design is my passion but I work full time and, like you say, I have grown addicted to the stability and routine of that! But gosh I just want to spend my days creating and sharing ideas. Enjoy exploring your talent, my friend recommended your blog to me today and I've enjoyed reading post after post today!

    Ellie xx

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  2. i'm feeling this way a lot lately, except i'm dying to leave my day job. (i called into work and have spent the day looking into mfa programs). being creative in this world is tough. money is hard. adulting is hard.

    -m.see
    http://blog.mollyseemeador.com

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  3. I think, those of us with creative passions are prone to perfectionism. I love what you old tutor said to you, that you're only as good as your last piece of work, that is definitely something I want to work towards. I think it's easy to struggle with ambition, especially as working as a freelance artist takes so much hard work. Basically, I'm saying I relate and I'm so soaking your words up.

    Erin | cd

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  4. Thanks for sharing your thoughts - it's really encouraging to see that you're "finding your spark" again! As someone who also pushes to produce creative work on a near-daily basis, I feel like I can relate to some of the things you've mentioned. I'm quite new to your blog, but if you enjoy reading / need motivation, I highly recommend "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield - it's a very quick read, and it definitely motivated me to tough it out and continue drawing and painting, even on those days when it just didn't feel right.

    Wishing you the best of luck,
    Katie

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  5. Your creative journey is always inspiring to me even when you are having bad days as we all do, and I LOVE blog posts about the creative process. Keep up your amazing work, I can't wait to see what you do xx

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  6. I have so much respect for your courage in pursuing something you're passionate about. I follow you on instagram and I absolutely love seeing your artwork. I love your style and all your illustrations are so beautiful. I'm so glad it's something you decided to take a risk for xx

    Beth | Alphabeth

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  7. Love this, beautiful writing!

    aldenterry.com/blog

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  8. "When it comes to my work, I won't dare put it out in the world until it is perfect, not sure if thats the Virgo in me or just an annoying trait..." Hey soul sister! I believe it's the Virgo in you. We Virgos all have that perfectionist thing going on. It can be really helpful though because it helps push our creative boundaries even more than we initially thought we could.

    annescribblesanddoodles.blogspot.com | Anne’s Scribbles and Doodles

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  9. I'm happy that you are finding your spark again. I have creative anxiety as well and a ting of perfectionism and hearing that someone who's art I admire greatly goes through the same types of feelings about their own work is in itself inspiring. Also, I am in awe of the depth and detail in those food bowls--I love them!

    x Haley R

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  10. I like your post a lot :-)
    Thanks!
    Have a lovely day sweety :-)

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  11. I'm trying to find my spark again so this came at the perfect time! I think I just need to fall back in love with creating and making things for me and not just for other people. I've followed you for a long time and it's so good to see how far you've come and where you're going! Yay!!

    www.livvy-rose.com

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Ella
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