18 August 2015

Being single in your late twenties - dating in london


This week is just speeding away from me, I just don't know where the time is going, can I have an extra Sunday or an extra Tuesday  every week please!? This time next week I'll be turning Twenty Seven, how very scary. Over the last few months I've had mini conversations in my head, with the mother and with my group of girl mates about being single in your late twenties. If I told my seventeen year old self I would be (newlyish) single at twenty seven I would of probably laughed and then cried a little inside. 

Don't get me wrong its probably not as bad as it sounds, I've had some great adventures in those years but when a lot of my close friends are paired off and pretty happy with their other half's which is fabulous, it does leave me feeling somewhat bewildered. For a very long time I chose to be single (three years to be precise) I wasn't fussed about finding a partner, but the older I'm getting (yes i know twenty seven isn't old) the more pressure I feel to fall in with the right guy, but finding him is somewhat impossible when your mates aren't single, you can't exactly hang out in a bar on your own, and lets face facts Tinder is just filled with confused men looking for hook ups.


Facebook seems to be steady stream of with friends getting engaged, married and having beautiful babies and I'm here painting and drinking my cups of tea (I do get out I promise) wondering what the hell am I doing wrong. Wrong probably isn't the word, I'm probably looking under the wrong kinda rocks or possibly the fact I freelance from home doesn't exactly give me the chance to bump into the office hottie!

Dating in London is tough there are so many men (and I'm sure some women are the same) out there that seem to be fixed on the "I'm not ready to settle down vibe," of the "I haven't quite got my shit together thing" In the last year and a half I decided to make a conscious effort to try and find a nice guy, people are either in two minds about this, "you go get them girl" kind of people or the more laid back "let love find you" types. Now I am a mix of the two and that's a very confusing place to be. I have been told dating in London is completely different to other parts of the country and now with the introduction of Tinder and other dating apps it seems finding lasting, meaningful relationships in such a fast pace city a struggle, with at the swipe of a digit you can find another girl to chat to. 

When you're in your late twenties the pool that you find yourself bobbing about in has some what lost its ripples and its just you swimming about with what appears to be the guppy fish and that elusive clown fish that keeps darting in and out of the coral, I personally don't find it always sucha fun place to be. Believe me dating is fun, its great I have some hilarious stories and some cringey goings on. But gosh its hard to put yourself out there all the time. I should be less stressed at the prospect of being single again and embrace it, enjoying my time not spent cleaning nappies or halving bills.

So instead of worrying about what others think,  how they perceive me and feel I have to put myself out there I'm going to be all radical and just go with the flow, I'm going to enjoy my own company, get out more, dress in pretty clothes (for me) and concentrate on myself and making me feel capable to tackle anything alone, because at the end of the day that's what its all about being the best version of yourself. Lets enjoy what we have more and not what we don't or we wish we had, everyone's path is different and everything happens in time.


HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A WONDERFUL DAY.
X
ELLA
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Massive thank you to Paige Joanna for taking the photos.

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10 comments

  1. god, YES.

    feeling this massively right now. i'm newly single at 26 and i find myself spend A LOT of time with couples.

    let's scour the bars and pubs. i've heard it can be fun. even at 'our age'.

    x

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  2. Oh my pretty little Ella, I loved reading this! I think we've had a fairly similar two years or so, eh? After the last situation from my email, I've decided the same: I'm going to focus on me and working my way through my restaurants and books list and doing me. I think the key thing is to remember that men don't complete your life, they should enhance it, and I think you're doing a pretty darn good job without them right now! Even as a constant optimist and hopeless romantic, I won't lie and say that I'm never worried about being alone while friends left, right and centre are shacking up with loved ones, but all my past failed dates have totes taught me that there ain't no point in settling for something I don't see happening. Everything happens for a reason (actually I might send you a funny story in another stupidly-long email) and I can't stop laughing at the guppy fish thing. ACCURATE AS HELL. xxxxxxx

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    Replies
    1. yes michelle, no point in settling. totally agree!

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  3. Why did you broke up with your last boyfriend? You looked so happy on the pictures ans also he seemed to be cute. It's a shame...

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  4. Anyway I am single too. I've been in England one year and I would like to fing british boyfriend. But it's pretty difficult. Hopefully we will be lucky soon :-)

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  5. this is such a great post, i'm constantly worried that i will enter my 30's single (even though i have a long way to go) but this post is the best, being happy in yourself is number one and hopefully everything will fit into place when it should.

    Rachel // Style Soup

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  6. such a well written piece ella bella.
    lovely photos aswell.
    love you xxx

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  7. Oof. That's tough. Whenever I am in a city like Chicago or Prague (I visit my home and school back and forth) and wishing I lived there I always remember how hard it can be to be a city girl. It is hard to make connections sometimes. I appreciate your attitude of openness and not passivity (I guess that's activity, then:))

    I've been loving your blog! You may have noticed my comments cropping up a lot lately:)
    -Lucy Rose

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  8. I hear you! I've been single for a year now and am getting itchy feet about it because it's the longest time I've been single for. But I've realised that he harder you look for love the more elusive it is. I've recently learned that the most important and long lasting relationship is the one with yourself. My motto is 'Stop waiting for the right person to walk into your life and be the right person to walk into someone else's life'. Enjoy this alone time because before you know it someone will arrive when you least expect it!

    xxx
    Nina from little nomad

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