1 December 2015

Two months on



So yesterday marked two months since I lost mum to complications during an Asthma attack, sixty odd days have been very much a blur, I have chosen not to see certain people in this time, as I am trying to build on myself, my happiness and eliminate as much unneeded stress as possible, selfish but necessary. I have found myself for the first time in a long time, knowing who I am and what I want from my life. Cheesy, most definitely, great for my confidence? hell yes! I have also learned that you really truly only get one life,

When you have to live everyday without the person that filled you with hope and happiness you learn to make your own, I don't stress as much over silly everyday troubles and in this time I have found myself traveling a lot more, something before I felt hard due to my anxieties. I read somewhere recently that people who experience big trauma's or life changing moments come out the other side being able to cope better with the trials of everyday life. I'm not too sure about that but I have found myself trying to slow the pace of my life down. Spending my days painting, working, enjoying food and good company. 

In these two months I have learned the importance of talking, sharing and facing your problems and issues openly and without fear. We all will go through some kind of loss in our lives at some point and it's how we face the hurt and upset thats important. Everyone deals with pain and loss in their own way and its giving space, time and love not only for ourselves but everyone we surround ourselves with.
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4 comments

  1. Dear Ella you are an inspiration and I am sure your mother would be very proud of your courage and determination.

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  2. It is clear you have been throwing yourself into your work. Well done on keeping positive and busy - you are mature beyond your years but loss of a parent is always devastating.

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  3. sending hugs, you are a brave girl. Your mum I am sure would be so very proud of you xo

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