I have been away for what feels like an absolute life time so I want to get down to my main aim in this blog post my marathon training had been going swimmingly up until about 7 weeks ago after a couple of heavy asthma attacks I was unable to train for extensive periods making life just that little bit more stressful, on top of this I discovered my now ex partner had been cheating on me the whole of our relationship. So you can imagine how much my heart hasn't been in a lot over this time, meaning with the asthma scare training became to tough to do regularly. It pains me to have to write this blog post, but I won't be taking part in the London Marathon 2016 but I will be running the London Marathon 2017, I have held my place with Asthma Uk and all the money raised so far has been extended to this date which is great news as I didn't want everyone generosity going to waste, but you have to listen to your body.
I have felt tremendously bad that I have let people down over this but at the end of the day i wanted to run this in the memory of my mum and I would now feel I would be completing it to get it out of the way and I didn't want it to turn into that. I wanted to do this with all my heart, i need to work on building myself, my heart and my mind back up so it is 100% `ready putting all the rubbish things that have happened to me in the last 7 months behind me to work on a stronger me completely selfish but I'm thinking there is always the next half marathon and 2017 to focus on. I know all that matters to me is that my mum would be proud and she would wholeheartedly support me in my decision. I will be upping the amount I want to raise to a little more and will get my training back into gear in May once my lungs have settled back and I am over what seems to be a vomiting bug. I underestimate the grieving process and the energy I would need to train and support myself after loosing mum, I hope people can understand that as much as I want to stride across that finishing line triumphantly I also need to make sure I am fit and healthy, the reason my mother passed away was that she neglected herself and health is our most important asset. Everyone of my readers, followers and supporters have been so fab since loosing mum so I just hope that support continues I will be sharing it more this time round also I wanted to thank the ever fabulous team over at Asthma UK for their love and support choosing this tough decision wasn't easy.