Lets talk about well being and keeping in shape, I have had a lot of comments on Instagram and other social Media sites regarding my “sudden” weight loss. I promise its not sudden it has been a goal for the last two years I have been working on. At my biggest I was a size 20 before that the smallest I had ever been was a size 12, it crept up on me after a bad break up, serious illness and a lack of self esteem, yes I know what you’re thinking how could it creep up on you just stop stuffing your face, well no not if food is your comfort and you just don’t realise. I thought I would talk you through a few of my goals, how I have made them manageable for me, my eating pattern and what well being means to me.
Back in 2013 I became poorly when visiting a friend in Bristol, were I was too poorly to eat, it was a sad time but with a few blood tests and endless doctors appointments we figured out what was up and things thankfully got sorted. this spurred me on to want to only put healthy food in my body, but the hardest thing to figure out was changing my mindset.
“I needed to find my own worth, to be my own best friend”
There was always an underlining issue for a long time I didn’t really want to admit I was unhappy and
unhealthy, I use to get out of breath walking anywhere it was a constant
cycle gaining weight made my asthma bad so I would have to take more
inhaler making me gain more weight. It was a tough place to get out of.
But I knew how I looked was making me feel really low, I have always had
the loveliest of readers and followers who have always been supportive
about how I look (thank heavens for those filters) but you have to do
things for yourself, I was afraid to admit I wasn’t happy and wanted to
make big changes rather then being like “I’m big and just to be happy
with that” I wanted to push myself and finally be able to look in the mirror without a million negative comments popping into my head, can I just say these negative comments were from me and not influenced by outside things, I needed to find my own worth, to be my own best friend and not to let those negative comments stop me.
Realising the need to make positive choices.
I realised that healthy eating was only a small portion of making myself feel better, I had to stop telling myself that I wasn’t good enough, I needed to learn that my happiness was important and that it was acceptable to want to take pride in how I look and how I felt without feeling selfish, it seemed like one hell of a daunting task. The only way I knew how to do this was to force myself to find good things about me, doing more for myself and making conscious choice that would push me which in turn gave me confidence, things like being filmed for a dulce gusto, traveling alone and joining the gym.
Fast forward two years and 5 stone lighter, I decided the only way I could loose the weight was to just eat healthier I cut out things I knew would be really easy to binge on like, chocolate, biscuits and crisp, I went cold turkey, it was hard the first week but after that I just didn’t want it anymore.I have heard that it doesn’t always work for everyone but it was what I needed. You could also introduce new healthier food into your diet or follow a diet plan, find what works for you.
“simple goals were great for my mindset”
The above photo was taken on my birthday back in 2013 (awful hair cut) and the one on the right was taken in October time in 2014, I have since lost another stone and half, this was the point I plateaued but managed to keep my weight level. My exercise was pretty limited not for any reason other then I always felt stupid running or exercising. So it wasn’t until I realised I wasn’t going to properly reach my goal of 9 stone without having to change something. So I started to walk more (I decided to start small and build my confidence) with the introduction of my FitBit that had been sent to me as a gift. It was a good push in the right direction it got me walking 3-5 miles a day helping me monitor my progress. I decided once I knew more about what I was doing i.e. calorie consumption my standard 3 mile run/walk I stopped using the Fitbit as I felt I was checking it to much and it made me feel too guilty if I didn’t reach my daily goals.
How to get over the nightmare of clothes shopping
Every girls nightmare when you aren’t feeling how you look is going shopping, yep the simplest of tasks like buying a pair of jeans would make me feel depressed, seeing my thighs and waist expand to what it did effect my mood so much. I lived in dresses and anything to hide the fact I was getting bigger and I wasn’t happy how I looked. I had to check the sizes. Hiding what you look like no matter what size you are isn’t good for your well being. I had to get over the size in the item of clothes I was wearing, its really not that easy, I embraced it knowing that I couldn’t feel any worst I bought clothes that would look good on me. I went for tighter fitting dresses to extenuate the good parts of my body I embraced what I could while working on the parts of me I wasn’t happy with.
Also I decided to buy myself an item of clothing that I loved and I
wanted to use as a target item to fit into. Mine were a size 10 pair of
vintage Levi shorts, it took me 10 months to fit in them but I did it. I
surprised myself that this simple goal was great for my mindset.
The next step.
I decided only recently that joining the gym was the next step, after being asked to take part in Race For Life I wanted to prove to myself with mini goals that I could then start working on, then this would make the big goals less scary.
My well being/weight loss mini goals were
– Run on a tread mill
– Wear a swimming costume/swim
– Complete a 5K race
– Drink more water
My Big Goals.
– Train for the London Marathon ( I have been selected to run for Asthma Uk)
– Get a full 8 hours sleep
– Maintain a size 10
– Try and only use my inhaler once a day
– Reintroduce outfit photos to my blog
These goals were pretty simple and doable when written down but following through with them for silly reasons like forgetting to drink more and mentally getting over how you look in a swimming costume can be hard. I realised that only I could pluck up the courage/organisation to do these things and keep going with them, so one day I put that swimming costume on and just did it. It was scary and for about a minute I hated it, but got over myself and once that goal had been squashed it makes the next stages so much easier to accomplish.
“If it doesn’t fulfill you walk away.”
Recently coming out of a pretty negative relationship (Negative in the way that how I was and what I did was never good enough) has made me realise a lot about who I am, how I look and what I do is all about doing it for myself for me and not for someone else. It is surprising what such a negative relationship can do for your own well being. Knowing that you should be with someone who loves you for how you are, if they start wanting to change you that’s not cool. If it doesn’t fulfill you walk away.
What I’m eating.
Food wise all I have done differently is stick to breakfast, lunch and dinner, more recently I have started eating chocolate as I figured why the hell not as I have been working my bum off in the gym. I will be sharing my meals in an up and coming blog post so keep your eyes peeled. I really enjoy drinking herbal tea and coconut water a hell of a lot more then I use to which helps me so I don’t snack. I avoid processed meat, junk food and fizzy drink just because it just makes me feel like crap.I’ll share more of what I eat soon.
Confidence is key
For me its not only been a weight loss journey, making positive changes has helped me in all aspects of my life, I have found that I no longer get (so) down about things as I once did. I spot more positives about myself then negatives when I look in the mirror. I don’t rely on someone to tell me I look nice or make me feel good about myself. Working on myself as a person has given me that confidence.
Best way I have found to do this.
– Set yourself reachable goals so you don’t feel like you’ve failed.
– Don’t feel too guilty over things that you can work on.
– Do more of the things that make you happy
– Ignore negative comments
– Don’t beat yourself up
– Enjoy your alone time
There are still plenty of things I need to adjust, like getting the balance of food right to give me the right amount of energy for running and working out properly, juggling that with my ME is something that I need to work on. I don’t profess to be a know it all when it comes to loosing weight and being happy, I just know that these things have helped me get my mind and body to a happier place and that’s what I am aiming to do.
Things I am learning on this journey
– To appreciate my body a hell of a lot more
– That its not weak to admit to yourself you need to change
– Not comparing myself to other
– I am a lot stronger then I realise.
– That someone can find how I look attractive.
– Fuck it if I wanna look good who has the right to say other wise.
How can I start my own journey to feeling more confident about my body, mind and life?
– Set yourself manageable goals
– Be happy with what you already have and work on what you want to change
– love yourself
– Don’t be afraid to want to change.
– Do it for yourself and no one else.
– Try and enjoy your food
– Find positive people and surround yourself with them