Anyone that knows me knows my love for a chunky knit, I think I might of inherited the love from my mum. November has to be my favourite time of year, the excuse to wear all the layers, and sip all the hot chocolate while watching all of the fire works!? whats not to love? If I’m honest its a pretty bitter sweet month for me, it marks the deployment date for my boyfriend who as we speak is 3559 miles away, thats pretty bloody far but as much as it comes with slight anxieties of him being away it comes with a chance to do somethings for myself.
With this chance to spend time focusing on me it also comes with the daunting task of self analysing what it is I want to achieve over the next few weeks and months. If you asked anyone I’m close to my anxieties have been pretty much ruling my brain for the last few months, and have come to a head the last few weeks (my poor boyfriend) If I wasn’t completely anxious about missing a flight, I would become anxious over the littlest thing like replying to an email. My brain works in pretty mysterious ways and if I am completely honest its been exhausting. The thought of feeling more grounded and having a stretch out in front of me that means I have space and time to focus on tackling my anxieties is actually giving my brain a little peace. As much as I love my relationship sometimes we lose sight of our own goals and needs so really I am trying to look at this as a chance for me to find new passions and enjoy some me time.
With the prospect of working on a slower pace of life I am hoping this winter for me is all about work. I’ve spent the last 3 weeks living out of a bag between trips to Budapest, Chester, Manchester, and warrington so it’s nice to be back home in London with the prospect of a busy couple of months business wise, while Ben is away. With the prospect of a hectic Christmas about to hit me I am actually looking forward to working, never thought I’d say that. It has been a struggle for my in recent months to juggle a busy schedule but I’ve come to the conclusion if I simplify it hopefully it will work better for me as I spoke about above with my anxieties I have a pretty high functioning level of anxieties to the point where you probably wouldn’t clock it but for me once I have my work in order I feel good. So it’s really learning to balance life and being freelance thats a little bit of a struggle but with my well organised bullet journal I feel that its the way forward, I am currently prepping my bullet journal youtube video so watch this space!
I am slowly realising that the best way I can get through the next four months of my long distance relationship is being extra nice to myself, focusing on me for once, taking time to enjoy the small pleasures in life, being healthy and exercising as well as saying yes to friends who want to spend some time with me. These things are tried and tested for helping me cope with my anxieties. I need to push myself really because I am pretty happy with a documentary and an evening of drawing that I sometimes can go days without leaving the house so these things I hope will push me to be a bit more welcome to change. I can always rely on Natasha to give me some healthy advice and a good laugh as we snapped these photos and wandered around Covent Garden, after I helped her pick out some pretty snazzy new ray ban glasses, my love for all black clothes is pretty apparent in this outfit Natasha actually chats about the colour black in her Colour Calendar I am hoping this winter though to get some colour into my everyday outfits and I am on the hunt for a pretty colourful knit after being inspired by Megan Ellaby like she’s the queen of colour I’m hoping to brighten the pretty dark winter months.