Lets talk business, I do relatively quite well as a business owner we aren’t talking millions, but each year I have steadily made myself more then the year before. But I’ve never really taken what I do for a living really seriously, never written a business plan, never truly budgeted and you know what never really aimed for a target profit. Nope and you know what it wasn’t until recently that I realised the women that I call friends and peers are just literally owning what they do. I see them in Tv adverts, gracing amazing campaigns, doing all this kick ass stuff and then I realise that I am amongst these women, maybe not signing book deals or getting those Tv commercials but I feel like I’m working towards better things.
It only dawned on me tonight seeing these incredible women forging a space and carving their own niche that there isn’t anything really stopping me from making my voice heard, my work reach a bigger audience and succeeding in the year to come.
I am a self sabotage kinda girl at heart and I think of a million things that could go wrong and often dismiss the thought that actually what if it goes right what then? My genuine fear is that one day I’ll be discovered as the fraudster I am I can’t really draw and I’m not as funny as I think I am!? Its obviously complete bulls**t I tell myself to mask the fact I’m terrified I might actually succeed at life and prove the haters wrong. As I sit anxious and stressed spilling my woes to the ever compassionate Natasha I realise that I am endlessly hard on myself. It’s silly really I never ever take credit for the majority of my success and chalk things down to oh it could of been better, I rushed that, I didn’t make enough, constant negative rather then telling myself I am proud I’m always moving forward to the next order, the next drawing. Its been a reflective few days for me, but I am making strides on where I want to be in my future as a person as well as in my work. I am a self sabotage kinda girl at heart and I think of a million things that could go wrong and often dismiss the thought that actually what if it goes right what then? My genuine fear is that one day I’ll be discovered as the fraudster I am I can’t really draw and I’m not as funny as I think I am!? Its obviously complete bulls**t I tell myself to mask the fact I’m terrified I might actually succeed at life and prove the haters wrong.
As I sit anxious and stressed spilling my woes to the ever compassionate Natasha I realise that I am endlessly hard on myself.
It’s silly really I never ever take credit for the majority of my success and chalk things up to “oh it could of been better”, “I rushed that, I didn’t make enough, constant negative rather then telling myself I am proud I’m always moving forward to the next order, the next drawing. Its been a reflective few days for me, but I am making strides on where I want to be in my future as a person as well as in my work.
I managed to be trusted this year with the likes of Starbucks, stylist live, we built the city and skinny dip to name a few fronting live illustration at large event and actually getting to call myself an artist when most of the 4 year of self employment I’ve just been vague about what it is that I do. I grew some major confidence alongside Sophie as we faced our bare face fears and talked about our acne troubles on a BBBC Three campaign which can I just say was way out of my comfort zone and completely terrifying. It really is all the little things that build up to a successful career, I realise that now. Its the endless peddling and pushing yourself in the right direction. Something that really I hadn’t thought of previously.
Now I am going to do something I don’t think I have ever done on the internet I am going to write out my work bucket list for 2018 this solely for me, but I figured if I dreamt it up and put it out into the world maybe it would make me work for it, more fixed rather then in my fear addled brain.
– I want to bring out a series of Ecourses / Ebooks on painting with watercolours
– Reach 1000 subscribers on Youtube
– Illustrate for 5 Magazines
– secure 2 magazine covers
– Work 5 new live illustration events
– Bring out new stock of cards, pins, totes, prints and tees
– Illustrate a book
– Start writing my own book
– Have work ready for wholesale and stocked in 5 stores.
Dream clients for 2018
Anthropologie, Dr Marten, Waterstones, Penguin, Stylist Magazine, NME, Oh Comely magazine, Frankie, Flow Magazine, Boohoo and so Many more but I wanted to manifest this and give myself something to work towards. It has really put the fire back in my belly to truly make my business work. Its a hard slog to make an insane amount being a freelance illustrator, but I have the blessing of my blog, and shop to keep my ambitions going in the slow months of work. For me its all about making each element work to its best and for me to slowly learn to take pride in my achievements when they happen. As well as obviously learning my from my mistakes to build a stronger me.
I've been following you for a while on Instagram and finally got round to checking your blog out and I couldn't be more inspired by you right now. I quit my job earlier this year to pursue my illustration and grow as a freelancer and I've been searching far and wide for artists to surround myself with who inspire me. I adore your work and what you do, I'm now about to grab a coffee and explore the rest of your blog and I'm so excited to learn more about you! Happy New Year 🙂 x x
Ellis // http://www.elliswoolley.co.uk
Put it into the universe!
I totally get you on the imposter syndrome thing -I get it to. I just treat myself like I would my friends (because apparently I’m better at supporting them than I am myself!). Eventually it manifests into support for yourself and your own aspirations, but like anything – it takes time and practice! x